On relationships

I'm very attracted to the girl that choreographs dance for DCD.

I was wondering what it was about her, she's cute but not really my type. I rarely ever talk to her so I cant really judge her personality. I only see her once a week and she's graduating soon so I'll probably never get to know her very well.

But I think it's her passion for dance that really gets me. I can tell that she really loves dancing and puts a lot of heart into DCD. She and the other choreographer are basically the main reasons I've decided to stay in the group, going to practice every week. Nowadays I've found myself extremely apathetic about the girls in college. Every girl wants to get with a guy by telling him how much she enjoys the same things he does. They feed their egos, hoping that in return, they will respond with the same tone. It's such a breath of fresh air to find a girl who is not only so absorbed in her passion, but is willing to share that with our whole dance group.

I guess where this post is going is just to say that I really find it attractive when someone else can inspire me to enter their world. I have to admit that as an engineer, I hate girl engineers. All the practicality, all the grade scrutiny, future planning; I just want a girl that can take me away from my comfort zone and teach me to love new things, experience what she enjoys. Whats the use of getting to know someone who is the same as me?

I hope I'll run into more girls like her soon..

The Light

amidst all my unhappy bitter posts, you have to realize

theres nothing any more rewarding than the experience of life. I mean, if youre not going to enjoy it while it lasts whats the use of trying?

the times like now make all the other shit worth it you know?

Tired of talking

I hate words.

I think its been quite a theme throughout my past few posts, but I really hate them. Sometimes I think about telepathy and the whole "reading minds" business. Would it be as shown on TV where the conversation in our minds are read?

I hope not. Even in my head I can converse lies and spout half-truths. I like to imagine that the concept of mind reading is just a pure gateway into the feelings of another person. It wouldn't be anything distinguishable or with any vocabulary, but instead would just allow you to connect with the other person, see what they mean rather than what they say. See through all the bullshit in everyday talk.

I like to consider myself a reserved fellow. I hate telling people how I feel. This is because I feel as though by telling other people how I truly feel, their attitudes change, they become someone else for me. I would like nothing else but to prevent that from happening. The way someone treats me without my two cents is exactly how they mean to treat me. It shows the genuine character of someone.

It definitely is quite a burden though. I would like nothing else but for the people I care about to change how they act and care more about me. But what would I gain by sharing that knowledge to someone? They may act different but it means nothing. Its only another mask put on top rather than a change from the inside.

What a predicament.